Scott Says

What was I doing at a strip mall before 4 a.m.? What are the origins of “Black Friday”? How many pairs of pants was I wearing?

 

 The tale of the Circuit City pilgrims [4:14m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (5)

Around harvest season in the year 1621, after a rough year in which the funny-hat supplies ran devastatingly low, the Pilgrims took a break from their hard, Puritanical work schedule to celebrate a large feast with whichever of the local Indians they had not yet killed. And when it came time for the main course, they ate as quickly as possible, so as to be first in line at Ye Olde Walle-Marte to buy discount flat-panel HDTVs. It was the first post-Thanksgiving sale.

Even the men came shopping that year, as there were no football games on television. This was largely because the NFL had not yet been invented, though the Plymouth Rock-Gazette was already speculating about when Brett Favre was going to retire. (more…)

The heart wants what it wants.

Why do so many young adults get married right after college? How come women take so long going to the bathroom? Why did my friend’s wedding smell like a zoo?

 

 A man, a woman and a quarterback [4:06m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (30)

I mean, “Ha ha ha.”

Marriage. It’s a very important institution that - whoops, I’ve scared off all the male readers.

Boobs! There, now everybody’s back.

Weddings start happening almost spontaneously once you finish as an undergraduate. You receive invitations in the mail announcing the kid from fourth grade who picked his nose in the class picture has found true love, whereas you still can’t commit to a brand of artificial sweetener. (more…)

Don’t screw it up this time.

She is apparently a tattoo artist in Phuket.

Under the second item on this page, check out the “Old Advice” and “New Advice.” Did you laugh out loud in the law library like I just did?