The Big Ten Network has finally won my support, and all it had to do was use a classic logic-based argument that has convinced people of things for years: “You can have free beer.”
Before the beer I was unhappy about BTN, a television network ostensibly aiming to further the mission statements the esteemed institutions of higher learning it represents (and also Indiana University). (more…)
How did the Big Ten Network finally convince me it’s a good thing? How much were Big Ten Tournament tickets overpriced? What leads to more dancing than school spirit?
My job as a columnist is to intellectually challenge readers. Just like William Safire or Robert Novak, I do this by taking on controversial topics including abortion, the role of religion in politics and cat poop. I didn’t realize the last one was contentious until a few weeks ago, when I wrote a column suggesting, in a deliberately cautious tone so as not to offend anybody, that cat owners are idiots.
The cat people were not happy about this. They mainly aired their grievances on The Daily Illini’s comment boards (”I think I’ll keep the cat and get rid of you” was a typical response), but there was even a letter to the editor published the following Monday pointing out that my column included a logical fallacy. This upset me because, in the process of writing a serious and dignified piece about cat poop, I’d never intended to dishonor the legacies of Plato and Aristotle. (more…)
How did cat people respond to my cat column? What’s worse, having a cat or a baby? What does “genie” mean in French?
Last summer I began waking up to a sweet, warm, brown concoction that, throughout my childhood, I had always been a little wary of: Al Roker.
Also I started drinking coffee. My summer job was at a law firm, where I was learning to be mature and lawyerly. I had to be awake enough by 9 every morning to act like a responsible adult, which of course I am not. But one night I stayed up too late doing mature, lawyerly things, such as drinking beer and watching poker reruns on ESPN, so I needed something to wake me up the next morning. (more…)
Why would anyone drink coffee every morning? What makes ordering at Starbucks so difficult? What’s a “burlappuccino”?
From Ed Dewan of Urbana. He didn’t like my cat poop column very much.
See it here, on the DI web site.
It takes a special person to devote himself to the care of a cat. I say “special” because, for legal reasons, I like to avoid words like “psychotic.” Whatever might possess someone to pick a brooding, moody cat over an energetic, outgoing dog or a personable, smiley alligator is beyond my comprehension.
If cat people were sane, there wouldn’t be products like Cat Genie. According to the product’s Web site, Cat Genie is “the world’s only self-flushing, self-washing cat box.” Cat Genie hooks up to your toilet and an electrical outlet and uses washable pellets in place of kitty litter to dispose of what the site refers to as “liquids” and “solids.” (more…)
