If you really wanted to make Barack Obama the next President of the United States, you would go online right now and make a large contribution to Hillary Clinton’s campaign.
I’m not certain why this helps Obama, but in a new video posted on HillaryClinton.com, the New York senator asks America to join her in supporting him. “I look forward to campaigning with him,” she says, her face appearing next to a red button labeled “$ CONTRIBUTE” that lets you help pay her campaign’s $22 million debt. I swear this is true. (more…)
The manliest thing a guy can have is confidence, and I summoned all mine in a very manly way recently when I bought a vanilla and lime-scented candle.
This was the first aromatic candle purchase of my life. I started with no idea which one I wanted to buy, but I knew why I wanted it: I had to convince a girl that I am the sort of sensitive, caring guy who always has scented candles on hand. (more…)
Now that Barack Obama has secured the Democratic nomination for president, his focus can shift to the next major task: Petitioning Microsoft Word to include his name in spell check.
He can also choose a running mate. The Vice Presidency is a prestigious position held only by individuals who can “balance the ticket,” which is a roundabout way of saying “be a different kind of white guy.” For example, in 2000 Dick Cheney balanced George W. Bush’s ticket by having male pattern baldness. (more…)