Scott Green

Scott Green writes a weekly column at ScottSays.com, where he covers earthquakes, politics, Playboy casting calls, technology, goldfish ownership and the stresses of being a Chicagoan.  During his previous tenure at the Daily Illini, he wrote more than 100 humor pieces.  He wrote political humor for The Washington Post and CBS News during the 2008 election cycle.  In April 2009, he was named one of the top 100 college journalists in America by UWire, one of only four opinion writers so honored.

He has also written for Gawker, Card Player Magazine, Illinois Alumni Magazine, Buzz, and the Buffalo Grove Countryside (along with the 49 other Pioneer Press newspapers in the Chicago suburbs). At Stevenson High School he founded “The Statesmean,” a satirical underground paper in the style of The Onion, for which local businesses purchased advertisements.

Scott earned his Political Science degree from the University of Illinois in 2006, and stayed in Champaign to earn his Juris Doctor cum laude in 2009.  His columns may have made him unhireable as an attorney, because many firms prefer their lawyers not to have their own personal opinions.  So he writes, because otherwise he’d have to find an excuse to become a grad student in some other area. This wouldn’t be ideal because he’d rather not have to grow a ponytail.

On February 14, 2008, he wrote about not being any good at dealing with females to whom he’s attracted, dating back to junior high when he never told Michelle Zimbler he had a crush on her.   Michelle thought the column was “charming and hilarious” (her words) and after a series of e-mails, Scott finally got the nerve to ask her on a date.  It’s a good thing he did, because the couple is now engaged.

Scott’s favorite writers include Dave Barry, Erma Bombeck, Robert Benchley, Joel Stein, Roger Ebert, Gene Weingarten and Will Leitch.  He is not yet on Wikipedia, though this is probably an oversight. His birthday is September 28, 1983.