Point: Replace voting now
by Scott Green
The best way to rid this country of vote fraud, ballot stuffing and voter error is also the simplest.
Eliminate voting.
Presidential elections are too important to be trusted to local election officials, state election committees and the hole-punching, scantron-filling aptitude of average American voters. Disputed presidential tallies are an American tradition dating back to 1800, when Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr received equal votes in the electoral college and Congress had to handle the fallout. In 1876, Samuel Tilden won the popular vote but lost the election after three states sent two sets of electors to Washington, and a partisan panel awarded the presidency to Rutherford Hayes. In 2000, Florida got messy and our electoral system turned to bedlam. (more…)
I mean no disrespect to Lincoln, Washington, or Fillmore when I say that George W. Bush is the greatest American president in this nation’s history - nay, the greatest American president in world history.
How great is Bush? He makes Calvin Coolidge look like Benjamin Harrison, Benjamin Harrison look like Franklin Pierce, and Franklin Pierce look like a bucket of whale excrement. Bush’s awesomeness knows no bounds. He is just the best ever. I can’t believe this even needs to be debated. (more…)
I’m amazed O.J. had enough energy to smile for his mug shot last weekend. He had a pretty busy few days.
Last Thursday his book, “If I Did It,” was released. It’s basically his confession to the murders of two people, including his ex-wife, 13 years ago. Hard to believe the media never picked up that story - you’d think if a famous athlete were accused of murder, we’d have heard something about it. (more…)
Kiddies, today Uncle Scott is going to put aside partisan rancor and address a topic upon which we can all agree: abortion.
It’s been the hottest political issue since Roe v. Wade was decided 34 years ago, yet neither side argues the debate on proper terms. Everybody is wrong. (more…)
At halftime of Saturday’s Illinois-Western Illinois football game, Dan Maloney will watch from his seat in the stands as the band performs without any mascot. He doesn’t think he will cry, but he knows it will be tough.
Maloney was Chief Illiniwek, back when there was a Chief Illiniwek. He was the last student to do the high kicks and split jumps in the regalia sold to the University by a Sioux chief in 1982. (more…)
Tomorrow night the sorority girls of the future will be out in packs, roving from house to house to watch dance routines overly choreographed to mockups of sort-of-popular songs. The whole thing is a ludicrous and outdated process that treats potential new members with patronizing condescension. That formal sorority recruitment can exist in 2007 when fraternity rush offers so much freedom is proof of how far the women’s liberation movement still has to go.
To join a house, a young woman must schlep to 20 houses during a 12-hour period on Friday and Saturday nights, at each one watching an overly choreographed dance routine set to a lame parody of a once-popular song. (”Our humps, our humps our humps our humps, our lovely sisterhood lumps.”) Sorority sisters waste an obscene amount of time during the first few weeks of the school year perfecting dance steps and rhyme schemes. (more…)
Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, former governor of Massachusetts, is a Mormon. And it might cost him the election.
According to a Nov. 2006 Rasmussen poll, 43 percent of Americans would never consider voting for a Mormon candidate. Only 38 percent said they “would ever” consider casting a ballot for a Latter-day Saint. Time magazine gave Romney’s religion a 2,000-word story in an issue with his face on the cover. This focus on piety is especially striking considering the relative lack of controversy surrounding the first major female and black candidates. (more…)