Tomorrow is Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day, the magical time of year when all students, regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, singing ability, etc., accidentally step in vomit.

This is because the entire campus spends the day drinking, often setting alarms for 6 a.m. to get a head start. It’s absurd. The only real reason to be consuming alcohol at 6 a.m. is because you haven’t stopped from the previous night.And with all that drinking comes hookups, so you’ll need me, the Sex Column Answer Man, to guide you through it and also to watch any amateur videos you shoot.

Question: Should I aim for the drunkest girls?

Answer: Absolutely not.

Q: You’re saying it’d be unethical to take advantage?

A: I’m saying it’d be devastating to get rejected by someone with a BAC of 0.20. Read the rest of this entry »