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	<title>Scott Green &#187; Chicago</title>
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	<link>http://scottsays.com</link>
	<description>ScottSays.com - the collected works of humor columnist Scott Green</description>
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		<copyright>2007-2008 </copyright>
		<managingEditor>scott@scottsays.com (Scott Green)</managingEditor>
		<webMaster>scott@scottsays.com (Scott Green)</webMaster>
		<category>posts</category>
		<ttl>1440</ttl>
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		<itunes:summary>This is humor columnist Scott Green as you have never heard him before:  With your ears.  Scott has been making readers spit coffee out their noses for years, even when they were not drinking coffee, though he admits this is largely due to his appearance.  The Scott Green Podcast:  Illiteracy has never been so much fun.</itunes:summary>
		<itunes:author>Scott Green</itunes:author>
		<itunes:category text="Comedy"/>
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<itunes:category text="Society &amp; Culture"/>
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			<itunes:name>Scott Green</itunes:name>
			<itunes:email>scott@scottsays.com</itunes:email>
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			<title>Scott Green</title>
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		<title>Seeing how Chicago democracy Sootts me</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2010/02/02/seeing-how-chicago-democracy-sootts-me/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2010/02/02/seeing-how-chicago-democracy-sootts-me/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Feb 2010 23:35:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Illinois]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Partisanship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/?p=642</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today I cast my first ballot as a Chicago voter, and I’m nervous because I don’t think the city wants me.  The first proof I had was my registration card, made out to one “Soott Green.”
My guess is that when I get to my polling place, I’ll be handed a ballot with “suggested” candidates already [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>&#8216;Tis the season to hit potholes</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/11/23/tis-the-season-to-hit-potholes/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/11/23/tis-the-season-to-hit-potholes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:40:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Traffic]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/?p=622</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[No city gets into the holiday spirit like Chicago, which is why, by statute, city potholes must be large enough to fit Santa.
Potholes are a major civic annoyance that appear seasonally and are usually sloshy, like Cubs fans.  Though unlike Cubs fans they cause tire damage, so you don’t want to drive them over with [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Act now and we&#8217;ll throw in Decatur!</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/11/16/act-now-and-well-throw-in-decatur/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/11/16/act-now-and-well-throw-in-decatur/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Nov 2009 04:39:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Corruption]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Illinois]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Partisanship]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/?p=620</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I hope your finances are in order because if you don’t act right now, you’ll miss your chance to purchase historic Illinois.
Think about what you’d be getting:  the place where Abraham Lincoln practiced law; the state from which Abraham Lincoln was elected President; the land where Abraham Lincoln is buried; the home of the ’85 [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Blame, and other Games for Chicago 2016</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/10/05/blame-and-other-games-for-chicago-2016/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/10/05/blame-and-other-games-for-chicago-2016/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Oct 2009 21:20:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Corruption]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Illinois]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/?p=584</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We’ve had a few days to digest the International Olympic Committee’s rejection of Chicago as host of the 2016 Summer Games, so it’s time to calmly and maturely reflect on whom to blame.
One option is President Obama, who gave a speech as part of Chicago’s final presentation.  Obama failed to win over enough IOC members, [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>At Wrigley, Blago just another loser</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/09/21/at-wrigley-blago-just-another-loser/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/09/21/at-wrigley-blago-just-another-loser/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:30:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Corruption]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Illinois]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rod Blagojevich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/?p=575</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Rod Blagojevich is no stranger to losing causes.  He was removed from the Illinois governor’s office.  He wanted President Obama to name him Secretary of Health and Human Services.  He’s a Cubs fan.
I learned the last one Thursday afternoon, when Blagojevich sat in the row behind me at Wrigley Field.  He was at the game [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Shakespeare, you old hack!  Happy birthday</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/04/23/shakespeare-you-old-hack-happy-birthday/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/04/23/shakespeare-you-old-hack-happy-birthday/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:49:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Illustration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jake Thompson Cartoon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rod Blagojevich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Shakespeare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Supreme Court]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2009/04/23/shakespeare-you-old-hack-happy-birthday/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Public school education focuses on long-dead poets and trigonometry but de-emphasizes things that are actually useful, like how to cheat on your taxes or identify a narc. This is why I know so much about William Shakespeare, literary icon and total hack.
Today is the Bard’s 445th birthday and the 393rd anniversary of his death. (It’s [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Finding an apartment in Chicago GREAT, RUSTIC fun</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/04/02/finding-an-apartment-in-chicago-great-rustic-fun/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/04/02/finding-an-apartment-in-chicago-great-rustic-fun/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Apr 2009 17:12:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Advertising]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Amy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Craigslist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Domiciles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Illustration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jake Thompson Cartoon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Salespeople]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2009/04/y%/finding-an-apartment-in-chicago-great-rustic-fun/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I finally get why people become homeless. My search for a Chicago apartment has made a refrigerator box seem awfully inviting, provided it has central air and a view of the lake.
Finding a place in college was never this hard. When I was an undergrad I picked a real estate company, its sales staff showed [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2009/04/02/finding-an-apartment-in-chicago-great-rustic-fun/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Michael Jordan will save our economy</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/03/19/michael-jordan-will-save-our-economy/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/03/19/michael-jordan-will-save-our-economy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:31:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Celebrities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Commerce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Illustration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jake Thompson Cartoon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michael Jordan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scientology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Economy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Pope]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2009/03/19/michael-jordan-will-save-our-economy/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have a plan for fixing the economy that involves Michael Jordan, so Michael, please contact me at your earliest convenience.
The idea struck me a few weeks ago when I had dinner at a Chicago restaurant Jordan owns.  I’d been stewing about a tiny piece of steak that cost approximately as much as the gross [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2009/03/19/michael-jordan-will-save-our-economy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Bozos rain on gay pride parade</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2008/07/02/bozos-rain-on-gay-pride-parade/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2008/07/02/bozos-rain-on-gay-pride-parade/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:23:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2008/07/02/bozos-rain-on-gay-pride-parade/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[At Chicago&#8217;s gay pride parade Sunday afternoon, I saw an outlandish collection of freaks and degenerates, out and proud for something inherently shameful. I&#8217;m talking about the protestors.
Near the end of the parade&#8217;s route on the corner of Pine Grove and Diversey, wooden riot-control barricades and a few disinterested-looking cops surrounded about 20 or 30 [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2008/07/02/bozos-rain-on-gay-pride-parade/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Very early offseason does not deter fans</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2008/01/30/very-early-offseason-does-not-deter-fans/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2008/01/30/very-early-offseason-does-not-deter-fans/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:45:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2008/01/30/very-early-offseason-does-not-deter-fans/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The rest of the NFL spent the past month worried about the playoffs, while Bears fans had an early offseason to think warm thoughts about the White Sox or to prepare for the Cubs&#8217; next rebuilding century. Meanwhile Bears players began dealing with the stresses of the offseason, such as deciding how much to tip [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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