Posts Tagged Current Events
Somehow, the ‘big one’ just doesn’t feel right
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on April 21st, 2008
If you’re reading this, congratulations! You survived the lamest earthquake I’ve ever heard of.
I don’t mean to disparage the hardy citizens who lived through Friday morning’s tremors, but as far as earthquakes go, this was not exactly the one you’ll tell your grandchildren about. It might be the one you tell your parents about, when you point out that you have endured a lot this year and could use some extra cash. I would do this over the phone, though, since it’s hard to keep a straight face talking about a harrowing ordeal that resulted in zero casualties, even if some woman did get trapped by her porch. Read the rest of this entry »
So you’ve decided to burn down an orphanage
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on April 10th, 2008
Today’s topic is how you, an average citizen who just happens to be a major scumbag politician, can avoid public scorn. The simple secret is to come clean before anyone suspects something is wrong. For example, let’s say you are a United States Congressperson who intends to set fire to the Orphanage For Really Cute Children. There are right and wrong ways to do this.
Right: Call a press conference before you set the orphanage on fire. Set the fire. Go directly to the press conference. Look into the cameras and say, “I set fire to the orphanage. I am aware this has hurt many people, but this matter is between me and God.” Try to keep a straight face. Read the rest of this entry »
WHAT’S NEW- Shark weak August 5, 2010
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- Roger Ebert one-ups the Internet April 26, 2010
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- Showering with 40 or 50 women April 8, 2010