Posts Tagged Fighting Illini
What you might’ve missed during spring
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on May 12th, 2009
It’s important for great societies to keep histories of all their goings-on. We might as well keep one of ours, too. It’s in this spirit that I present my recap of spring semester 2009, because otherwise I might accidentally study for finals.
JANUARY
Zipcar places two rental vehicles on campus to serve 40,000 students. “It’s super convenient to use,” says junior Horace Glorf, “and as soon as my turn to use one of the cars comes up in eight years, I’m totally going to Walgreens.”
Governor Rod Blagojevich is removed from office by the state legislature. To prove he is more than a shameless attention seeker, Blagojevich appears on 3,178 talk shows.
To conserve resources, the Lincoln Avenue Residence Hall cafeteria becomes the second on campus to go trayless. Enough water is saved that, for the first time ever, some LAR residents take showers. Read the rest of this entry »
Big Ten Network perks finally unveiled
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on March 28th, 2008
The Big Ten Network has finally won my support, and all it had to do was use a classic logic-based argument that has convinced people of things for years: “You can have free beer.”
Before the beer I was unhappy about BTN, a television network ostensibly aiming to further the mission statements the esteemed institutions of higher learning it represents (and also Indiana University). Read the rest of this entry »
WHAT’S NEW- Shark weak August 5, 2010
- Our newest justice, after these messages May 3, 2010
- Roger Ebert one-ups the Internet April 26, 2010
- Something about televised baseball doesn’t add up April 15, 2010
- Showering with 40 or 50 women April 8, 2010