Posts Tagged Food
I don’t have the energy to write a headline
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on July 8th, 2009
We have to stop this menace, and we have to stop it now. I’m talking about that new 5-Hour Energy commercial, the one featuring a shaggy-haired college kid in a sideways baseball cap who holds a skateboard while saying things like “tear it up” and “totally kickin’.”
Clearly the company doesn’t understand modern collegians. Where’s the kid’s Nirvana cassette tape or pog collection? But here we have a company that sells energy drinks, a product purchased by every college student I’ve ever known, that is completely out of touch with the market. Read the rest of this entry »
Losing weight, one pizza at a time
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on June 10th, 2009
Because I gained approximately 4,000 pounds in college, I’ve begun my post-graduation diet with the ultimate goal that, through sheer force of will, I might one day give all my money to the Weight Watchers corporation.
I have the extra bulk because I spent my time in Champaign on the standard college diet of three square meals a day, each of them pizza.
I’m just kidding. The standard college diet is four pizzas. But my point is, there’s definitely a culture on campus that encourages you to eat whatever you want, whenever you want. Read the rest of this entry »
Just a ‘regular’ coffee drinker
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on March 13th, 2008
Last summer I began waking up to a sweet, warm, brown concoction that, throughout my childhood, I had always been a little wary of: Al Roker.
Also I started drinking coffee. My summer job was at a law firm, where I was learning to be mature and lawyerly. I had to be awake enough by 9 every morning to act like a responsible adult, which of course I am not. But one night I stayed up too late doing mature, lawyerly things, such as drinking beer and watching poker reruns on ESPN, so I needed something to wake me up the next morning. Read the rest of this entry »
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