Posts Tagged Greek Life
Pledge football: an up-down experience
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on July 15th, 2009
Those of you lucky enough to join a fraternity this fall can look forward to the tradition of playing in a pledge football game, in the same sense that people who get gored by a bull can look forward to losing a lot of blood.
The problem wasn’t the game itself, which was a lot of fun. It was a nighttime flag football match in front of a few hundred spectators, and we even got to play our rival house, though none of us particularly hated the other team because we didn’t know anyone in their house.
No, the problem was the process leading up to the game, which required daily practices. In other words: exercise. Read the rest of this entry »
All the lies my rush chair told me
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on September 4th, 2008
Whether to join a fraternity or not is one of the biggest, life-defining decisions a new student can make. That’s why it’s very important you do not commit to a house until you have given it careful thought, by which I mean “consumed twelve Jell-O shots.”
Ha ha, that was a joke. Anyone in the Greek system will reassure you that alcohol is not served at fraternity recruitment events, although it will be hard to understand him, what with all the slurring. Read the rest of this entry »
Cow poop fundraiser comes up roses
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on April 3rd, 2008
The Democratic primary has turned extremely bitter, and with the presidency hanging in the balance and pundits trying to make sense of everything, it is more important than ever to have a serious discussion about something else.
Fortunately, Monday’s The Daily Illini featured an article by Paolo Cisneros entitled “‘Mad’ cow leads chase through campus streets.” The article was about a fraternity-run charity event called “Dumps for Dollars” that was so nauseating and distasteful that I naturally called the frat’s president, Matt McNamara, to confirm the details so I could share them with everybody. Read the rest of this entry »
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