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	<title>Scott Green &#187; Michelle</title>
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	<link>http://scottsays.com</link>
	<description>ScottSays.com - the collected works of humor columnist Scott Green</description>
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		<copyright>2007-2008 </copyright>
		<managingEditor>scott@scottsays.com (Scott Green)</managingEditor>
		<webMaster>scott@scottsays.com (Scott Green)</webMaster>
		<category>posts</category>
		<ttl>1440</ttl>
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		<itunes:summary>This is humor columnist Scott Green as you have never heard him before:  With your ears.  Scott has been making readers spit coffee out their noses for years, even when they were not drinking coffee, though he admits this is largely due to his appearance.  The Scott Green Podcast:  Illiteracy has never been so much fun.</itunes:summary>
		<itunes:author>Scott Green</itunes:author>
		<itunes:category text="Comedy"/>
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<itunes:category text="Society &amp; Culture"/>
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			<itunes:name>Scott Green</itunes:name>
			<itunes:email>scott@scottsays.com</itunes:email>
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			<title>Scott Green</title>
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		<title>Showering with 40 or 50 women</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2010/04/08/showering-with-40-or-50-women/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2010/04/08/showering-with-40-or-50-women/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Apr 2010 18:26:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Weddings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/?p=771</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Any couple in need of housewares should definitely be the guests of honor at several dozen bridal showers.  My fiancée, Michelle, and I recently had this pleasure, and will never need to buy another melon baller.
Showers are women-intensive get-togethers that occur during important conference basketball games.  The idea is, guests bring gifts to commemorate an [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Walking down the aisle&#8230; at Bed Bath &amp; Beyond</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2010/01/19/walking-down-the-aisle-at-bed-bath-beyond/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2010/01/19/walking-down-the-aisle-at-bed-bath-beyond/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:06:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Commerce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Weddings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/?p=639</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It takes a lot of work to get married:  selecting a venue; whittling the guest list; designing the invitations; receiving gifts.
I never thought getting presents would be so difficult.  I assumed I’d just send my fiancée, Michelle, to a couple of showers and she’d come home with gifts we could enjoy as a couple, like [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2010/01/19/walking-down-the-aisle-at-bed-bath-beyond/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>WedTV</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/09/14/wedtv/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/09/14/wedtv/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 Sep 2009 23:25:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TV]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Weddings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/?p=572</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was deeply in love with my girlfriend and couldn’t see spending my life with anyone else, so it was time to prove it, by listening for hours about which shade of white our wedding tablecloths should be.
I know more about wedding details than I want, but less than I should.  I’m getting married next [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How I engaged my favorite reader</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/05/07/how-i-engaged-my-favorite-reader/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/05/07/how-i-engaged-my-favorite-reader/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2009 19:42:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Diamond]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Engagement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Illustration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[In-Laws]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jake Thompson Cartoon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jewelry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Photos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2009/05/07/how-i-engaged-my-favorite-reader/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Graduating college columnists like to write about what the school paper meant to them, how much they love their readers, and a bunch of other nonsense. With the readers, for example, my main interaction has been the DailyIllini.com comment boards, where people post threads titled &#8220;You can&#8217;t be serious&#8221; after I suggest the president host [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Single guys, enjoy manly music while you can</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/02/19/single-guys-enjoy-manly-music-while-you-can/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/02/19/single-guys-enjoy-manly-music-while-you-can/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Feb 2009 06:26:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gender]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Illustration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jake Thompson Cartoon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2009/02/19/single-guys-enjoy-manly-music-while-you-can/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Men, there&#8217;s an easy way to find out what kind of music you like:  get a girlfriend.
Guys in relationships know what I&#8217;m talking about. You meet this wonderful, beautiful woman; you lose yourself in passion; and within months, you have three John Legend albums on your iPod.
I called a number of guys I know [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2009/02/19/single-guys-enjoy-manly-music-while-you-can/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>My Wiinter Break</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2009/01/16/my-wiinter-break/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2009/01/16/my-wiinter-break/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jan 2009 01:19:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Video Games]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2009/01/16/my-wiinter-break/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do you have any idea of all the fascinating and influential world events that happened over winter break, the things historians will be talking about millennia from now? Me neither, because I got a Nintendo Wii.
Everybody starts break with the greatest of aspirations. &#8220;I&#8217;m going to apply for summer jobs,&#8221; you tell yourself, &#8220;and clean [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2009/01/16/my-wiinter-break/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Webcam puppies good enough to eat</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2008/12/04/webcam-puppies-good-enough-to-eat/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2008/12/04/webcam-puppies-good-enough-to-eat/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2008 21:21:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Animals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Internet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2008/12/04/webcam-puppies-good-enough-to-eat/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After a dozen years of searching, I found the greatest thing on the Internet. Yes, it&#8217;s a webcam. No, it doesn&#8217;t involve porn.
Here&#8217;s the premise: Six Shiba Inu puppies lounge around in a soft foam bed, with no visible means of financial support. Granted, this is the same exact plot as &#8220;Friends,&#8221; but the puppies [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2008/12/04/webcam-puppies-good-enough-to-eat/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>An extremely historic night at Grant Park</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2008/11/13/an-extremely-historic-night-at-grant-park/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2008/11/13/an-extremely-historic-night-at-grant-park/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:08:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[History]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2008/11/13/an-extremely-historic-night-at-grant-park/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was at Grant Park last Tuesday for Barack Obama&#8217;s election night party. It was surreal &#8211; the speech, the election, the strangers bunched so tight against me that we may be married. If I had to use a single word, that word would be &#8220;historic,&#8221; because you can put &#8220;historic&#8221; before any noun and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2008/11/13/an-extremely-historic-night-at-grant-park/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>My manhood is burning</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2008/06/18/my-manhood-is-burning/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2008/06/18/my-manhood-is-burning/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:21:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Commerce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2008/06/18/my-manhood-is-burning/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The manliest thing a guy can have is confidence, and I summoned all mine in a very manly way recently when I bought a vanilla and lime-scented candle.
This was the first aromatic candle purchase of my life. I started with no idea which one I wanted to buy, but I knew why I wanted it: [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2008/06/18/my-manhood-is-burning/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Happy Valentine&#8217;s Day!  Have this dead squirrel</title>
		<link>http://scottsays.com/2008/02/14/happy-valentines-day-have-this-dead-squirrel/</link>
		<comments>http://scottsays.com/2008/02/14/happy-valentines-day-have-this-dead-squirrel/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:17:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott Green</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor Columns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Animals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scottsays.com/2008/02/14/happy-valentines-day-have-this-dead-squirrel/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If the dating scene is a meat market, I feel like a box of fish sticks. My head knows girls say they want funny guys, but my heart knows they confuse &#8220;funny&#8221; with &#8220;muscular&#8221; and &#8220;guys&#8221; with &#8220;guys who are not me.&#8221; It would be easier if I could figure out what girls are thinking, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://scottsays.com/2008/02/14/happy-valentines-day-have-this-dead-squirrel/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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