Posts Tagged Super Bowl
What you might’ve missed during spring
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on May 12th, 2009
It’s important for great societies to keep histories of all their goings-on. We might as well keep one of ours, too. It’s in this spirit that I present my recap of spring semester 2009, because otherwise I might accidentally study for finals.
JANUARY
Zipcar places two rental vehicles on campus to serve 40,000 students. “It’s super convenient to use,” says junior Horace Glorf, “and as soon as my turn to use one of the cars comes up in eight years, I’m totally going to Walgreens.”
Governor Rod Blagojevich is removed from office by the state legislature. To prove he is more than a shameless attention seeker, Blagojevich appears on 3,178 talk shows.
To conserve resources, the Lincoln Avenue Residence Hall cafeteria becomes the second on campus to go trayless. Enough water is saved that, for the first time ever, some LAR residents take showers. Read the rest of this entry »
Your first hosting decision: Super Bowl party or funeral?
Posted by Scott Green in Humor Columns on January 29th, 2009
I’m really psyched for the Super Bowl, because it’ll be exciting to see if the Arizona Somethings can beat the Pittsburgh Whatevers to determine the world championship of a sport played exclusively in the United States.
It may seem odd I can get so worked up over a Super Bowl not involving my Chicago Bears, but I’m incredibly excited to see if my 19th favorite team can beat my 24th favorite. This is a major reason why I’m hosting a party Sunday afternoon. (The other reason is that I want an excuse to eat potato salad leftovers for the next month). And you can host one, too, provided you are good at picking Dorito crumbs out of your carpet. Read the rest of this entry »
